Cullen & Mari Hawke domestic meme

[sarasa_cat]

Yet another domestic meme! This has a big section of thinky-thoughts at the end (question 15) with music/poetry from Leonard Cohen and why Cohen’s juxtaposition of sacred and profane imagery is absolutely perfect for a Hawke/Cullen ship. I’ve included links to four songs for your listening pleasure.

01. Who is big spoon/little spoon?

Him. Her. Neither. The dog. Depends.

Obstacles of size do not play a large part into the physicality of spooning. Cullen stands 190cms (almost 6’3”) and Mari is a lanky 178cms (around 5’10”). No matter who tries to envelop whom, Mari’s lanky frame (which, when in bed, appears to consist primarily of sharp knees and pointy elbows) ends up sprawled in multiple directions while Cullen is either balled up against Mari’s side or lying partly beneath her. 

By the time Cullen and Mari became intimate (shortly after the Qunari attack at the close of Act II in 9:34), Cullen was no longer the trim, fit, well muscled man of his youth (all of this despite Cullen being only twenty-eight in 9:34). Years of insomnia triggered weight gain, and his managerial role at the Gallows meant that he received far less daily exercise. From 9:34 through 9:39, Cullen isn’t overweight, per se, although his frame is large enough to hold a good bit of extra padding. One could fairly describe him as “big” although not “fat.” Big. As in, “we’ll need to make this man’s metal chestpiece a good bit larger.”

When Mari plays the part of Big Spoon, her height and long limbs allow her to wrap herself around a man as large as Cullen when he curls up by her side. Often Mari’s mabari flops lengthwise on Cullen’s other side and the three of them sharing a bed look like the punchline from an Orlesian joke about the inadequacies of Ferelden lovers. Not that Cullen would give a damn what jokes might be made about him, Hawke, and a marbari flopped together in one large, comfortable bed. In fact, many years prior, Cullen had been a typical young Ferelden boy who fantasized about owning a mabari. Thus, he feels giddy boyishness (albeit in a subdued manner) whenever the mabari jumps into bed. (When Mari tries to kick the war dog out, Cullen tells the mabari to come sleep on his side of the bed.) More than once, Cullen has fallen asleep with a marabi spooned around him, while Cullen presses against Mari’s side, his head on her shoulder. And, more than once, Mari has exclaimed, “Absolutely no paws in my face!” when their canine companion gets a little too cozy.

Cullen and Mari aren’t always able to spend their nights together, especially during the years when Meredith rules Kirkwall with her iron fist. In fact, during their first year, their nights are far more frequently spent apart. When alone, Mari stays up far too late and reads whatever book Cullen left on the bedside table on his side of the bed. In the Gallows, Cullen spends his nights in his miserably grey suite. He typically suffers from restless sleep. When nightmares haunt him, he wakes startled, sheets drenched in cold sweat, and then he will rattles around his room in a state of hyper-alert, anxious activity until he calms himself enough to focus on something meditative. He sleeps a bit better at Hawke’s manor, and when nightmares strike, he has Mari and her dog for comfort.

02. Who steals the blankets?

Mari does not merely steal the blankets. The woman is a blanket Houdini. More than once, Cullen has woken up in the middle of the night with frozen feet and a cold draft on his back, only to find the blankets entirely wrapped around Mari. (Warmth is another reason why he doesn’t mind the mabari sharing the bed with them.)

If Cullen is having trouble sleeping due to issues with anxiety, he gets up, puts on a robe, and quietly busies himself with a book. If sleep still seems like a good idea, he may look in the top shelf of the wardrobe for a spare blanket and return to bed. When all available blankets end up wrapped around his thieving partner, Cullen nudges Mari into a state of half-wakefulness before pulling her and the entire tangled mess of blankets on top of himself. At that point, sleep may or may not find him, but at least he’s warm for the night.

Needless to say, during the coldest months of the year, Cullen wears woolen socks to bed with his quilted ankle-length sleeping tunic.

03. Who kissed who first?

Hard to say. Mari pecked Cullen on the cheek while greeting him at a holiday party, but this wasn’t out of the order at all given the festive nature of the occasion (or so both of them silently told themselves).

During the evening after Leandra’s funeral, Cullen spent time with Mari and comforted her while she was upset. At one point, he happened to brush his lips over her hair near the top of her head, although Cullen was merely taking care of a friend. Nothing more. Nothing at all. (Despite a few inappropriate ideas that he chased out of his mind.)

On the other hand, a week after the Qunari attack was done and over, Cullen and Mari were alone together, a full day’s sail from Kirkwall, and Mari quite boldly kissed Cullen while pushing him backward into the boat’s cabin.

04. Who started the relationship?

This is akin to the old mystery of the chicken and the egg. Who started matters first? 

Working backward, late in 9:34, a few weeks after the Qunari attack, Mari gave Cullen a key to her manor. She had promised him that key a few days earlier, and that promise was in response to Cullen saying how much he hoped to spend other nights with her in the future—a hope that he stated while the two of them lay arm in arm on the tiny bunk in the cabin of his single mast sailboat. The reason why they were laying arm in arm under a wool blanket in the cabin of a small boat was the result of Mari boldly kissing him under the moonlight while they were they were anchored in a quiet harbor a full day’s sail from Kirkwall. Although, Mari would not have been there if Cullen hadn’t invited her. 

Given that Cullen isn’t always the boldest of people, his invitation for Mari to join him on a sail up the coast (mostly for pleasure, partly for templar business), did not suddenly occur out of the blue. He and Mari had been friends for a solid three years. He accompanied Mari on some of her errands for the Gallows, and she invited him to share meals with her in Hightown. He met her for social visits and, on more than a few occasions, especially when the hour grew late, he spent the night as a guest in her manor (but never in her room! No, no, no, just as a guest, although not that Isabela or Carver ever believed that nothing was going on).

05. What is their favorite non-sexual activity?

Any activity that lets them get away from a world that insists on defining who they are counts as a favorite. The activity could be as simple as playing a game of chess in Hawke’s drawing room or reading a book together by the fire while wrapped a blanket, or it could be a more involved activity such as working together to repair and rebuild a small sailboat, or learning from Isabela how to sail. 

For Mari and Cullen, the matter is less about the activity and more about the attitude. When they first became friends (during DA2’s Act 1), Mari made a point of regularly reminding Cullen that all mages aren’t the same, that he is a templar who has been taught to have narrow views, that some mages are quite capable of policing themselves, that Cullen allows himself to be a mouthpiece for the Chantry, and that MAGES MAGES MAGES TEMPLARS TEMPLARS TEMPLARS MAGES MAGES MAGES TEMPLARS MAGES CHANTRY MAGES TEMPLARS. *COUGH* Eventually Mari got most of this out of her system. Cullen prefers that this matter does not come up at all. Once he decided that he trusted Mari, he felt no need to dwell on the fact that she is a mage. After all, he has hundreds of other mages to worry about.

06. Who cooks?

Orana. 

This is not to say that Mari and Cullen are both incapable of cooking. Mari knows the basics of cooking although she prefers not to cook. Cullen learned how to bake bread when he was a Chantry brother and he enjoys working in the kitchen as a baker when he has time (which is not often).

07. What is the most trivial thing they fight over?

These two do not have trivial fights. 

Cullen doesn’t like fighting. He will debate and argue in a civil manner. Starting the first day Cullen and Mari met, Mari has gone out of her way to bring up obvious topics of debate: mages, templars, the Circle, the Chantry. But, as far as Cullen is concerned, debate is a form of civil discourse and the Chantry trained him to handle such matters. In his mind, this kind of discussion with Mari is not fighting, no matter how far Mari pushes him into a corner.

When Mari puts her differences aside with Cullen, the two of them have a great deal of common interests. Thus, they rarely fight (beyond their debates). Whenever Mari attempts to pick a fight, Cullen quickly attempts to defuse the situation.

The only topic that comes close to trivial fighting involves how they should behave toward each other when in public. Mari feels that they should appear no more friendly than professional associates (meaning: do not touch, do not give “that look,” do not say anything that hints ever so slightly of innuendo). Cullen feels that enough people already know about them or have come to their own conclusions, and those who definitely do not need to know haven’t asked and do not believe that such a relationship would ever happen, so why should it matter if he occasionally gives her “that look” or says something that can be interpreted in more than one way, because he only does such things in front of her closest companions and never within earshot of other templars.

08. What they do for entertainment?

Cullen sings. He has a lovely voice. When he was younger, he used to sing in the Chantry choir. In the privacy of Mari’s home, he sings popular Ferelden and Marcher songs to entertain Mari and her staff. Orana often accompanies him on the lute. 

They enjoy reading together, talking, and playing board games. They are well-matched chess players who are both good enough for their games to be competitive. 

Sometimes Mari invites friends over for an evening of cards and casual discussion. Cullen gladly joins in. He gets on well with Aveline and Donnic, he feels a mix of suspicion and amusement toward Varric, and he doesn’t trust Isabela at all. 

09. What would they get each other for gifts?

Cullen becomes stressed over the idea of selecting a gift for Mari. After all, given her wealth, what could she possibly need that she could not get on her own? Furthermore, what could a person living on a templar’s pay possibly afford to get her? Oh, Maker! The stress. The pressure.

He puts aside money and plans a month or more in advance to find Mari just the right gift. He makes mental notes whenever he hears of something she likes or might want (that is within his meager price range). He might even warn Aveline or Varric to dissuade Hawke from purchasing the specific item for herself. Cullen has been known to buy her sentimental pieces of jewelry and a beautiful chess set imported from Orlais. Before they officially became a couple, he brought appropriate gifts when invited to her manor: bottles of wine, desserts, chocolates, and fresh flowers.

While visiting shops and merchant stalls in Kirkwall, Mari has a habit of finding things that she thinks Cullen will like. Books, tools for doing delicate metal work, navigational instruments in various states of disrepair, warm socks, succulent mangos imported from Antiva, a hand-painted box with a pastoral scene of southern rural Ferelden.

10. Who leaves their stuff around?

Neither. 

Mari is neat and organized. Cullen keeps few personal items at Mari’s manor and most of his belongings (clothing, toiletries) could easily be mistaken for Carver’s. In fact, a good deal of Cullen’s belongings are mixed in with Carver’s, mostly because when he first stayed over at Mari’s manor, he slept in Carver’s unused room. 

The few books that Cullen has brought over to Mari’s home blend with books she already owns. The only items that stand out are Cullen’s antique navigational instruments in various states of repair, but these items are kept neat and orderly.

11. Who remembers to buy necessary items?

Bodahn and Orana. 

Although Mari is well-organized and makes lists of items that need to be purchased, along with things around the manor that need attention, the responsibility of keeping matters in order fall on Bodahn and Orana. 

As for less-than-necessary items, Cullen always purchases a small gift when he visits Mari (or stays for a night or three), such as fresh fruit, a bottle of wine, or a box of sweets.

12. Who remembers anniversaries and other things?

Cullen. Always Cullen. Even though Mari notes important dates in the journal and calendar that sit on her desk, Cullen memorizes all important dates and never, never, never forgets them. 

Important dates are meaningful to Cullen. The name days of his friends and his anniversary with his partner are important to him because he these days represent his connections with people he cares about. Given that Cullen doesn’t know the exact day he was born, his interest in other people’s name days reflect his repressed desire to belong to a family (or a family-like organization). He is also quite good at remembering other people’s anniversaries. Aveline jokes that she relies on Cullen to remind her that her anniversary with Donnic is coming up.

But, Cullen’s memory for important days such as anniversaries and name days is only the start of his nearly neurotic calendar-driven mind. As a young Chantry brother and templar recruit, Cullen excelled in history and memorizing dates. He looks as his entire life as a history in the process of being written (albeit, a history that is mundane and uninteresting to anyone beyond himself). Thus, he has memorized quite a list of “firsts” and has filed away all of those dates and places inside his head. These include:

* Their mundane firsts: first time Mari saved his life, first time they met, first time they cooperated professionally, first public argument, first casual conversation at the Gallows courtyard.

* Their innocent social firsts: first conversation that had absolutely nothing to do with mages and templars, first midday gelato outing in Hightown, first time he met with Mari and her friends to play cards, first time they rummaged through junk shops to find old navigational equipment and parts for repairing an antique marine chronometer.

* Their less innocent social firsts: first time Cullen went on a hike with Mari to help her collect rare medicinal plants, first time Cullen called on her at her manor, first time he had dinner with her privately at her manor, first time he took Mari out on his boat (and sort of held her hand, briefly), first time he slept over at Mari’s manor but stayed in Carver’s unused bedroom because Cullen and Mari were merely good friends and absolutely nothing more, first time she gave him a hug, first time he saw Mari in nothing more than a skimpy nightgown even though surely he wasn’t supposed to have seen that, first time he managed to end up in her bedroom and sit on her bed although they were both clothed and nothing happened other than him comforting Mari over something that had upset her so all of that physical contact was purely innocent and just between friends.

* Their definitely not innocent firsts: first time they exchanged a friendly peck of a kiss (which left Cullen wondering for three days what it meant), first time they really kissed (which left Cullen with no doubts whatsoever about what had happened, especially when her tongue boldly explored his mouth), first time he invited her on an overnight sailing expedition (knowing full well that sleeping space was tight but repeatedly making the gentlemen’s offer to sleep on the deck), first time he slept with Mari (immediately after his third gentlemanly offer to sleep on the deck of the boat), first time he joined Mari in her bed and they tried to figure out how to physically perform certain acts depicted in a book that Isabela had left behind.

13. Who cusses more?

Does Mari Hawke cuss like a sailor? Does the sun rise in the east? Do birds fly? Do fish swim? 

When Mari puts on her diplomatic face, her cussing is kept to a minimum. When a situation calls for cussing, Mari does not hold her tongue.

Cullen, as a soldier and a common man, is no stranger to cussing although he only cusses when startled or horrified.

14. What would they do if the other one was hurt?

First, Cullen would like to make clear that as a member of the Templar Order, it is his duty to protect mages from harm caused by other mages or by hostile members of the public. Therefore, if he happened to be with a mage such as Mari Hawke and that mage (Mari, for instance) was injured due to a hostile act,  Cullen is duty bound to immediately intervene, and to subdue and apprehend the hostile person.

If, on the other hand, Mari were to twist her ankle on a loose cobblestone, thus causing her ankle to painfully swell,Cullen, as a knight and a high ranked officer, believes it is proper behavior for him to aid such an injured person and help her home.

As far as Mari is concerned, if anyone hurts any of her friends, including Cullen, she goes right for the perpetrator’s head. 

Regarding any other attention Mari might give to Cullen when he is hurt, all she is doing is merely showing her support for the Templar Order. Nothing more. Nothing to see. Move along.

15. Give a song that fits their domestic situation and say why.

As I mentioned in my Neria Surana/Alistair domestic meme, I tend to give my OTPs an artist or an album. Cullen/Mari Hawke get Leonard Cohen’s album “The Future” because nothing says heart wrenchingly honest fucked up relationships like a Leonard Cohen song. Cohen’s lyrics and poetry often make use of religious/spiritual images juxtaposed with self-effacing emotions  and the profane aspects of life. While a portion of fandom likes the imagine Cullen as a virginal, pious boy with a stutter, I like how the sacred-profane nature of Leonard Cohen’s lyrics help me think of Cullen as a mature (or maturing), sexual, reflective, deeply emotional person. 

Although they get the whole album, I’ve picked out a song for each act in DA2 that is dedicated especially to them. 

ACT 1 (9:31) - The Future

The Future depicts apocalypse and salvation, merged with a raw desire for violence, self-destruction, and tyranny. Given how confused and psychologically injured Cullen is after being tortured by Uldred’s mages, this song feels fitting for him during Act 1. So, why is it a Cullen/Mari Hawke domestic meme song? I imagine Hawke being understanding during Act 1 and looking at Cullen as yet another lost, broken thing (much like Anders, Merrill, and Fenris). I can see her taking Cullen under her wing even as he spouts fear-driven hatred toward mages (similar to Fenris). Meanwhile, Cullen oscillates wildly between openly reaching out to Hawke for a listening ear and then putting on airs, putting up walls, and spewing bile about mages and magic. To me, The Future captures his state of mind, during this period.

ACT 2 (9:34) - Waiting for the Miracle

My Cullen/Hawke is based on the idea “what if Cullen was a romanceable LI in DA2 and the romance arc follows the same style of quests as the other LIs?” That would make Act 2 the point where a friendship (or rivalry) culminates into a relationship. Well, my headcanon cheats a little by ramping up their UST during Act 2 but no sex scene occurs until shortly after Act 2 ends. 

So, what does all of this have to do with Waiting for the Miracle? Pretty much everything. The song is about the emotion felt by two people who want a relationship with each other but one of them holds back because the time isn’t right. Although, the time is never right. 

ACT 3 (9:37) - Light as a Breeze

I can’t think of another song that is such a perfect-by-chance literal representation of Cullen’s headspace after falling for yet another mage and having a damn good relationship with that mage. Hatred and love, cursed and healed. 

Light as a Breeze looks at love and sex as a spiritual and religious experience. The lyrics could reflect the emotional and spiritual nature of Cullen’s physical relationship with Mari Hawke while simultaneously reflecting an intensely spiritual communion with Andraste. Overall, it’s about love being transcendent, ephemeral, and intensely in the moment.

ACT ?! (9:39-9:40?) - Anthem

The lyrics of Anthem captures the time between the collapse of an old political order and a new one. In my headcanon, Hawke serves as Viscount for a few years before the Seekers (Cassandra) show up. Anthem reflects my headcanon for how Cullen sees his world after he defies Meredith and works with Hawke’s companions to take Meredith out. He is no longer the same templar he had been, his attitudes toward the Order have changed, and his relationship with Hawke helped him see the world in a different way (which I think is true in canon without any Hawke/Cullen relationship beyond their moments of canon cooperation). There is a sense of hope and maturity in Anthem that I can see in Cullen. I can also see him attributing this to his relationship with Hawke.

(Crossposted on tumblr)