Alistair & Surana domestic meme

[sarasa_cat]

I want to get Alistair's relationship with my canon warden, Neria Surana, back into my head so here's a detailed version of a 15-question domestic meme, complete with a few songs to listen to while you're reading (if you are so inclined -- scroll down to the end for music).

01. Who is big spoon/little spoon?

Alistair. Always. 

While people around them might think that Alistair is the big spoon merely because Neria is such a tiny little woman, this isn’t the reason. Alistair clings to Neria at night like a child squeezing their favorite stuffed animal. Alistair feels far more secure when he’s with Neria because he knows where he belongs. She grounds him and gives him a sense of always being home. Neria doesn’t complain one bit about being the little spoon. Alistair keeps her toasty warm at night.

02. Who steals the blankets?

Neither. They tend to stay very cosy throughout the night. The blankets remain wrapped around them. Both of them are sound sleepers when they are together, expect for nightmares caused by the darkspawn taint. If one has a darkspawn-related nightmare and starts thrashing about, the other usually wakes up. They then take refuge in each other’s arms while blankets are once again returned to a securely wrapped position. 

03. Who kissed who first?  ~and~

04. Who started the relationship?

Alistair! He and Neria had been flirting for a while. She had given him a few hugs and they fell into the habit of sitting very close to each other at the nightly campfire. Alistair was pretty certain that Neria had feelings toward him, and he was also very hopeful that he was right. One evening at camp, Alistair popped the big relationship question. When Neria gave him an ambiguous answer, he thought she was playing coy and he decided to kiss her right then and there to see if she felt the same way he did. In truth, Neria wasn’t certain that she wanted to start an actual relationship but she wasn’t opposed to the idea, and she definitely felt physically attracted to Alistair. Fifteen minutes after that big kiss, they disappeared into Neria’s tent for the rest of the night. In all honesty, Neria was initially in it for the sex although she also liked Alistair as a friend. As time passed, their relationship became Neria’s chief priority. She became very invested in Alistair’s happiness and well-being, which shaped her professional decisions as a Grey Warden during the 5^th Blight and after. 

Throughout the earlier phases of their relationship, Alistair made most big moves in response to Neria’s hints of affectionate invitations. Let me be bluntly honest here: Alistair knew what he wanted and he went out of his way to get it, heart on his sleeve and all. But, after Alistair did his bastard prince reveal, Neria was the one who made sure that the relationship remained on track.

05. What is their favorite non-sexual activity?

Since they spend most of their time leading the adventurous lives of Grey Wardens, they play lots of verbal “on the road” games. Everything from “I Spy” to making up stories on the go by taking turns telling one sentences at a time. Think of any verbal word game you’ve played while young and these two have probably played it too while they trek across Ferelden, carrying out the business of Grey Wardens.

Their most favorite non-sexual activity is spending a few nights at a comfortable inn and sharing a hot bath. As for what happens next, well, that goes beyond the bounds of this question. But, anything that involves a well-prepared meal and sleeping in a proper bed is greatly welcomed by these two Wardens.

06. Who cooks?

Neither, whenever possible.

Alistair cooks absolutely miserable food. He takes pride in how horrible his cooking turns out. Neria isn’t interested in cooking because she is far too busy planning and commanding the mission they are on. Proper cooking is always left to more capable hands, and that depends on where they are and who travels with them. In a pinch, Alistair and Neria are both capable of putting together something that resembles a tasty sandwich. When completely left to their own devices (read: the decision is put in Alistair’s hands), big hunks of cheese and a bottle of wine (or ale) provides a fast meal, of sorts. 

07. What is the most trivial thing they fight over?

The unfortunate locations of Alistair’s dirty undergarments, especially his socks, and especially when those dirty socks are lying on top of Neria’s belongings, their bedding, or her clean clothing. And let us not bring up the time that Alistair’s sweaty smalls were stuffed in a pocket in Neria’s pack. They’re almost as bad as The Odd Couple when it comes to casual sloppiness versus finicky neatness.

They also fight over the age old question regarding Neria’s personal belongings: 

“Alistair? Where is my ———? Did you borrow my ———?”

“Uh, yes, but I put it back.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Maybe you misplaced it?”

“That would be impossible, because I didn’t have it in the first place.”

“Well, maybe it’s back in the storage trunk, in the cart?”

“No. It is not.”

“Did you try looking in my pack?”

“And why would it be in your pack?”

“Uh… because I’m always very thoughtful and I go out of my way to carry things for you?”

“CAN YOU JUST FIND IT NOW?!”

“Okay, okay. I’m looking, just give me a minute and— wait— no that’s not it— hold on— let me check over here— oh, wait— here it is!”

“Next time could you please put it back where it belongs?”

“Right, right.”  (Sigh)

08. What they do for entertainment?

They play cards and they tell each other stories. Some of the stories are true tales of things that happened during their childhood or teenage years. Other stories are made up tales or retellings of well-known spooky stories. When no one else is around, they’ll giggle maniacally as they make up racy yet humorous smut fic about real people they know. In the rare moments that they meet up with Varric and Isabela, the real person fic becomes absolutely deadly. Needless to say, they also like playing cards with Isabela during the rare times they meet up with her. Neria is a card shark.

09. What would they get each other for gifts?

Other than canon gift items and other similar kinds of gifts? Neria  gives Alistair practical gifts. Alistair gives Neria sentimental gifts. Neria will give Alistair a new pair of boots. Alistair will give Neria a sand-polished beach stone taken from the shore after they have relaxed together in silence, watching the sun set.

10. Who leaves their stuff around?

Alistair, Alistair, Alistair. He is a slob although he claims to know the exact location of every item he owns. (And he really does!) If he has a method of organization, Neria is completely unable to discern what it is. Neria is exceedingly neat and orderly to the point that if anyone touches her things, she will neaten those items up. Borrow a pen from her? She’ll make sure it goes precisely where it belongs once it has been returned to her. She takes pride in her organizational skills to the point that others roll their eyes behind her back.

11. Who remembers to buy necessary items?

Usually Neria, although Alistair is quick to remind her of important items that she might forget. Neria tends to purchase only what is absolutely necessary whereas Alistair will splurge just a little on items that are less than absolutely necessary. Their differences keeps them balanced between being too frugal and too careless with their funds. While Neria is more than capable of appreciating fine items, she takes pride in her organized, spartan approach. Alistair’s conception of “necessary” includes items that are emotionally necessary rather than merely physically necessary. Thus, thanks to Alistair, they enjoy some of life’s comforts whenever possible.

12. Who remembers anniversaries and other things?

They both do. It’s all very sweet. Alistair is the emotional, romantic type who thinks about special dates far in advance. He plans out little surprises as he searches for just the right gift, just the right place to go, and just the right things to do. In contrast, Neria lives in her head, although she insists on doing everything that is socially expected of her, which means always celebrating anniversaries, always scheduling time for something special on namedays, always doing something to mark the Annums and Feastdays. 

13. Who cusses more?

Neither of them cuss all that much. Neria is quite particular about not cussing, which puts Alistair in the position of cussing more, merely because he might cuss when angry. On the other hand, Neria doesn’t think twice about using her Stern Voice Of Authority. There are days when Alistair wishes Neria would just cuss like a sailor and get her emotions off her chest, rather than give him her cold death stare while invoking the Stern Voice of Authority while keeping him under her watchful eye. (“You really aren’t going to turn me into a toad now, are you?”)

14. What would they do if the other one was hurt?

If Alistair is hurt, Neria will make a quick assessment of the apparent nature of Alistair’s injuries while taking into account their overall situation. In other words, Neria triages. In fact, she triages every situation she meets, not just the matter of who to help first when someone is hurt. Neria is a spirit healer with advanced herbalism and she feels extremely confident (read: overconfident) with her skills as a healer. The more dangerous a situation she is in, the more eerily calm she becomes. 

“Oooooh. Neria can be really scary sometimes. I mean really, really scary.” —Alistair

If Neria is hurt, Alistair looses his cool. When the situation becomes truly dire, he panics and snaps angry commands at everyone else around him. I cannot blame him for feeling this way. He should. In addition to Neria being the person (well, elf) who is nearest and dearest to his heart, she is also an incredibly valuable resource to the Ferelden Grey Wardens: she is an accomplished spirit healer. If Neria is badly hurt during a battle or an expedition, her party is in trouble.

For more mundane matters like nursing a sprained ankle or putting up with a head cold, Alistair will dote on Neria whereas Neria has a much more perfunctory attitude around the sick and injured, even if it is her own S.O.

15. Give a song that fits their domestic situation and say why.

My OTPs always end up with a cluster of songs, typically all from one album or artist rather than a mixed play list. 

Neria and Alistair get the Beatles album “Let It Be.” Two songs worth calling out are:

* Don’t Let Me Down *

This was written by John Lennon as an anguished plea of love to Yoko Ono. The lyrics and performance style suggest deep vulnerability when madly in love with someone and desperately hoping that they will be there for you. Alistair hides a lot of vulnerable, wounded hurt under his armor of sarcasm. This song captures the emotions that I see him feeling towards Neria although he’s often far too afraid to say words that are so emotionally honest and raw. 

* I’ve Got a Feeling *

This was a Lennon-McCartney collaboration with the first half as an optimistic song that Paul McCartney wrote for his fiancé Linda Eastman and the second half as a litany by John Lennon motivated after he had put up with a really difficult year of his life. Emotionally, this song just plain fits Alistair/Surana in a very honest, simple, straight-forward manner. Listen to it. Really. That’s the best explanation I can give. :)

I also need to mention * Norwegian Wood/This Bird Has Flown * from the Beattles “Rubber Soul” album. My Epic Alistair WIP just happens to be titled “This Bird Has Flown” for two reasons. First, my WIP is partly inspired by the writing style and characterization found in novels by Haruki Murakami (and one of his novels is named “Norwegian Wood,” after the Beattles song of the same name, thus my little head nod in his direction ^^). Second, my Epic Alistair WIP originally began as a short story (currently unposted) about his night with Morrigan and the lyrics of Norwegian Wood/This Bird Has Flown heavily colored the feeling of the story while I wrote it. 

The song’s lyrics tell a cryptic, emotional depiction of an unsatisfying affair that John Lennon had behind the back of his wife Cynthia. Lennon and McCartney fictionalized the affair such that the unnamed woman rudely tells her lover to sleep in the bath after having sex, and he  takes revenge (in a fantasy) by setting her flat on fire. The song captures my image of Alistair’s emotions during the Morrigan/Alistair OGB ritual, plus Alistair’s anger with himself after the ritual is over and Morrigan, no doubt, bluntly tells him to leave.

(Cross-posted on tumblr)